One of my special interests is genealogy, which is a much broader hobby than I think people realize. Anyone involved with historical recreation of any stripe is probably already nodding along. The family tree is only the baseline beginning. You’re an explorer and a detective, trying to find the story behind the names and dates. You become an expert in local and global history to understand what was happening politically and culturally in the area where your ancestors lived. Unexpected surname changes and choices for given names (unique or not) can reveal quite a bit about your family. Frances/Francis is one of, if not the, most common names in my entire family tree.
We are people who highly value personal freedom. Many of my emigrating ancestors came to the United States because they liked keeping their heads attached. I have some historical evidence that my occasional inability to keep my mouth shut is one I come by honestly. I have also seen evidence that we’re generally willing to die if necessary to live our lives as they deserve to be lived.
I think a good life requires refusing to play the games that make everyone else so miserable. It requires being authentically yourself and figuring out what that means within the broader scope of your communities: family or found family, your neighborhood, your relevant cultural groups, etc. The way of life in the Siksika Nation, part of the Northern Blackfoot Confederacy, gave Maslow the basis for his hierarchy of needs. That entire pyramid is the bare minimum and the base level for building a supportive and peaceful life and community. For the unfamiliar, the big takeaway from Maslow is that we aren’t happy or fulfilled as people if we’re always scrambling for resources and acceptance.
We know what the basics are to survive, but to thrive, you need to appropriately value yourself and your community (multiple communities for many of us). It’s about showing up and celebrating each other every day. It’s making sure everyone’s cup is full as best you can, including your own. I personally found that creating a good life involved rejecting old societal beliefs and moving away from what everyone “has” to do. I am showing up where I want to be with people whose opinions and needs matter to me. You know your life is good when you can genuinely say, “I have what I need and I am fulfilled.”
Read Cat Bounce 